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0:00Hello?0:02Man, mirrors in horror movies are like a huge red flag.0:05Oh, hey, Sharon, what's up?0:06Mirrors and small children pointing at things that you can't see.0:09Oh, shit, yeah, that's a bad one.0:10God, are you... are you sure?0:11Oh, and when the black guy says,0:13oh, I'll go check out what the noise is in the basement,0:15that's always trouble.0:16Well, thank you for telling me.0:17Yeah, why's the black guy always die?0:19No, it's fine. I'll figure it out.0:20Yeah, isn't that kind of racist?0:21Seems like it.0:22They should have only white people in those movies.0:24Oh, yeah, so then the black guys won't get killed.0:26Yeah, I'll talk to you later.0:27Blant, we just came up with a great way to make movies less racist.0:30Sharon is conscientiously objecting to this costume party tonight,0:33so I need a designated driver.0:35Can you do it?0:37Me? No, not tonight.0:39Yeah, me and Ted got massive plans.0:41Well, I can't drive myself. I'll be full of jello shots.0:43So you have a few drinks. Big deal.0:45You know what nobody ever talks about with drunk driving? How fun it is.0:48John doesn't have his license yet, and you...0:50It's like a video game.0:51You owe me.0:52For what?0:53I took the heat when Aunt Suze found the porno you guys rented.0:56What do I care? She's not my mom.0:58My mom's an 11-year-old kid in China with arthritis.1:00How do you know that?1:02Because she sewed a note in my leg that says she's never had a vegetable.1:05Come on, Ted. Please, you gotta drive me.1:07It not a good night Blair We got plans Yeah Now I gonna go shower and fluff myself so I can be in a confident headspace to shame trick The cuter I look the worse they feel1:24Help me!1:25Ah, Jesus Christ!1:26Drive me to the party!1:27I said no!1:28Stop fucking scaring me! God!1:30You can end this very easily, you know.1:32I will not be blackmailed!1:34There's nothing like the scent of the hills that kill Kenny to make you feel fresh.1:40And we put a bit of that into every bar of Irish spring.1:45This whole ad campaign is a bluff.1:47What do you mean?1:48It's like, you know who smells good?1:50The Irish.1:51Yeah, a guy named Seamus Boyle smells great.1:54Is it warm in here?1:55Yeah, it is kind of warm.1:57Yeah, it feels like somebody turned up the heat.1:59I'm gonna check the thermostat.2:00No, wait!2:01What?2:02It's her.2:03It's fucking Blair.2:04You open that door, she's gonna be right there with that fucking blindfold.2:07Here, I'll open a window.2:12Help me!2:13Ah! All right, goddammit!2:16Hi!2:22You look so good You look amazing You look amazing This This is Ted Ted do you know Sarah and the Sinus Cage Hey2:31Hey, Ted.2:31How's it going?2:32Hey.2:33How are you?2:33What's your costume?2:35Are you a caveman?2:36Uh, you ever see Return of the Jedi?2:38It was kind of a small, independent film, mostly Israeli finance.2:41Yeah, I don't date men, so I don't need to learn this.2:43Well, come on.2:44We need to get you guys wasted.2:46Yes.2:46Yes, from me.2:47But Ted, here is my designated driver.2:50Yeah, I'm the guy that gets to listen to the spin doctors sober.2:53That sucks. Come on.2:57Hey. Want a drink?2:59I can. I'm driving.3:01Oh, too bad. I always wanted to do a shot with a teddy bear.3:05Fuck it. I'm not driving yet.3:11I always wanted to smoke weed with a teddy bear.3:14Sign me up.3:15I always wanted to snort my ADHD meds with a teddy bear.3:23If that's a cry for help, you got the wrong guy.3:26Yeah!3:31Cheers, fucksticks.3:36Hey you guys want to see something terrifying Watch this Everybody wave your arms Everybody jump in the air3:46Let's invade Poland.3:50See that?3:51That's the Milgram experiment.3:53That's how it starts, with dancing.3:55The dad from Footloose was right.3:58Oh, shit, it's 8.30.4:02Claire, Claire, it's 8.30.4:03We gotta go.4:04God, I never noticed how beautiful your hair is.4:08Does it just naturally dry like that?4:10Shut the fuck up.4:11Your hair's the beautiful hair.4:13Wait a minute.4:14Are you drunk?4:15I'm just a little, but it's sort of, it's fine.4:18You're fucking drunk.4:19So are you.4:20Yeah, well, that was the plan.4:22Sorry.4:26How the hell are we supposed to get home?4:27You're completely fucked up.4:29It's a straight shot.4:30You take the Neponset Circle, the 93 South, the 90 West,4:33the 495 North, and you just do that U-turn at the light4:36in front of the police station, and you're home.4:38Yeah, no, I'm not getting in a car with you.4:40Look, what's done is done, but we both promised Johnny4:42we'd get me back in time for egging.4:44All right? I'm fine to drive.4:45You're not driving my car drunk, okay?4:47It's my car. I should be the drunk driver.4:50All right, fair enough. I'll help by...