Five's best lines
Five — The Umbrella Academy [1080p] — @mj1720 & Netflix
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Media information
TypeScenepack
Quality1080p
Duration4:40
File size41.4 MB
Downloads0
SourceThe Umbrella Academy
CharacterFive
Credit@mj1720 & Netflix
AddedSep 21, 2026
Five's best lines
Transcript
0:00Excuse me. Excuse me.0:02It's my son Kenny's birthday today and...0:04Uh, wouldn't your son be happier playing with kids his own age?0:07I would rather chew off my own foot.0:14Or return it to its rightful horror.0:16Aww. What a thoughtful young man.0:19Yeah, look up the name for me, will you?0:20Now you listen here, young man.0:22No, you listen to me, asshole.0:25I've come a long way for this.0:27There's some shit your pea brain couldn't even comprehend.0:30So just give me the information I need.0:32And I'll be on my merry way.0:34And if you call me young man one more time,0:37I'm gonna put your head through that damn wall.0:40Oh dear.0:41Call security.0:42You think I want to shoot a kid?0:44And go home without all my conscience?0:48Well, I wouldn't worry about that.0:51You won't be going home.0:57What's your game, crazy lady?1:01Who cares? You said if you saw me again, you'd kill me.1:04Oh I remember Well go on big talker Let get this done All right You better than I thought You were entirely average1:14You're not going anywhere.1:17Put her down.1:20Put the gun down. You're not killing anyone today.1:22Be careful out there, buddy.1:23Get back now!1:24Yeah, I wouldn't want you to get hurt.1:25Or what?1:26That's one badass stapler.1:37Chapter 27, subsection 3b.1:39These seven stages in paradox psychosis are1:42Stage 1, denial.1:442, itching.1:453, extreme thirst and urination.1:474, excessive gas.1:495, acute paranoia.1:516, uncontrolled perspiration.1:53And 7, homicidal rage.1:56Come on, come on.2:00Surely we can come to some form of agreement2:02that benefits both parties.2:04Quid pro quo?2:06What do you say?2:07Why not?2:08Here's your quid.2:10Here's your pro.2:14No please don Here your quo Explain to me how it is I having a pint of Guinness with my younger self2:26Older, actually.2:28I'm you, just 14 days older.2:30That makes no sense.2:32Well, what if you were smarter?2:34Wow, Diego.2:35Well, who's Diego?2:38Imagine Batman, then aim lower.2:41You know what's funny?2:42I'm going through puberty.2:46Twice.2:48I'll never forget you, Dolores.2:50Excuse me, miss.2:51Yeah?2:52Did you give that mannequin something near the wire?2:54She liked sequins.2:58I'm trying to find whatever priceless crap was in that priceless box so that pogo will get off my ass!3:05I'd ask what you're up to, class, but...3:08That has occurred to me.3:09I don't care.3:10Your mother, that slut, whoever she was,3:13we met at the disco, okay?3:18Remember that?3:19Oh my God, the sex was amazing.3:22What a disturbing glimpse into that thing3:24you call a brain Don make me put you in time out Can I get the kid a glass of milk or something The kid wants coffee Black Do you like jazz boy3:35I'd rather lick a cheese grater.3:36I'm the last I checked. I'm still a leader of this family.3:39Well, last I checked, I'm 28 years old, man.3:41Yet again, you are experiencing daddy issues.3:44I have seniority here, so it is me you should be listening to, Luther.3:49I'm the daddy here!3:51Hey, old timer.3:56Do you have my sister?3:59If not, would you like a margarita?4:00Are you or are you not an enemy of the people?4:06That's such an over-the-person question.4:08I don't really demand the home people.4:08Think about it, yeah.4:11She's too young for you.4:13Nice to see you too, Luther.4:15What do you want?4:16For you to stop hovering like an ambitious stripper and sit down with me.4:21Leave the pot there.4:26Lippy little shit.