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0:00Okay, let me guess.0:01Quesadilla with soy cheese0:02for the lactose intolerant Leonard.0:05Shrimp Caesar salad with no almonds0:06for the highly allergic, kosher-only-on-the-high-holidays0:09Howard.0:10And for our suddenly-back-on-the-Hindu-wagon0:12Raj meat-lover's pizza, no meat.0:17Coming right up.0:18Wait, excuse me.0:20You forgot my barbecue bacon cheeseburger.0:22Barbecue sauce, bacon, and cheese on the side.0:24Oh, I didn't tell you.0:26You're banished from the Cheesecake Factory.0:30Why?0:31Well, you have three strikes.0:33One coming in, two sitting down, and three, I don't like your attitude.0:39You can't do that.0:40Not only is it a violation of California state law, it flies directly in the face of Cheesecake0:44Factory policy.0:45Yeah, no, there's a new policy.0:47No shoes, no shirt, no Sheldon.0:49I bet we could sell that sign all over Pasadena.0:53Ooh.0:54Oh.1:00Hello.1:03Time to do your laundry, huh?1:06Saturday night.1:08Saturday is laundry night.1:10I know.1:11Every Saturday at 8.15.1:14Easy to anticipate.1:18What are you implying?1:21I'm implying that you're a creature of habit.1:23And if something were to prevent you from doing your laundry on Saturday at 8.15,1:28you might find it... unpleasant.1:38Knuckle under my ass.1:47Oh, no. Are all the machines taken?1:53What are you gonna do?1:57No problem.1:58I'll just do my laundry another night.2:02Another night?2:03Well, I guess you can try,2:05but deep inside your heart,2:07you'll know that laundry night2:09is always Saturday night.2:16Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.2:20Yeah, well, your ken can kiss my Barbie.2:23How come you didn't go into work today?2:26I taking a sabbatical because I won kowtow to mediocre minds So you got canned huh Theoretical physicists do not get canned2:36But yeah.2:38Maybe it's all for the best.2:40You know, I always say when one door closes, another one opens.2:43No, it doesn't.2:45Not unless the two doors are connected by relays or there are motion sensors involved.2:50No, no, I meant...2:51Or if the first door closing creates a change of air pressure that acts upon the second door.2:55Never mind.2:58Slow down.2:59Slow down.3:02We're fine.3:02You're not leaving yourself enough space between cars.3:05Oh, sure I am.3:06No, no.3:07Let me do the math for you.3:08This car weighs, let's say, 4,000 pounds.3:10Now add 140 for me, 120 for you.3:14Oh, I'm sorry.3:15Did I insult you?3:16Is your body mass somehow tied into your self-worth?3:19Well, yeah.3:21Interesting.3:22Anyway, that gives us a total weight of, let's say, 4,400 pounds.3:26Let's say 4,390.3:28Fine.3:30We're traveling forward at, good lord, 51 miles an hour.3:34Now, let's assume that your brakes are new and the calipers are aligned.3:37Still, by the time we come to a stop, we'll be occupying the same space as that Buick in front of us.3:41An impossibility that nature will quickly resolve into death, mutilation, and...3:46Oh, look, they built a new putt-putt course.3:47This is great.3:53Look at me.3:54I'm in the real world of ordinary people3:56just living their ordinary, colorless, workaday lives.4:02No, thank you.4:04Thank you, ordinary person.4:07Hey, you want to hear an interesting thing about tomatoes?4:11No, no, not really.4:12Listen, didn't you say you needed some eggs?4:15Yes, but anyone who knows anything about the dynamics of bacterial growth4:18knows to pick up their refrigerated foods on the way out of the supermarket.4:22Oh, okay, well, maybe you should start heading on out, then.4:26No, this is fun.4:28Oh, the thing about tomatoes, and I think you'll really enjoy this,4:30is they're shelved with the vegetables, but they're technically a fruit.4:34Oh, interesting.4:35Isn't it?4:36No, I mean what you find enjoyable.4:43Oh, boy.4:45What now?4:47Well, there's some value to taking a multivitamin,4:50but the human body can only absorb so much.4:52What you're buying here are the ingredients4:54for very expensive urine Well maybe that what I was going for Well then you want some manganese5:10Well, that was fun.5:11Maybe tomorrow we can go to one of those big warehouse stores.5:14Oh, I don't know, Sheldon.5:15It's going to take me a while to recover from all the fun I had today.5:20Are you sure?5:21There are a lot of advantages to buying in bulk.5:23For example, I noticed that you purchased your tampons5:26one month's supply at a time.5:30What?5:31Think about it.5:32It's a product that doesn't spoil,5:34and you're going to be needing them5:35for at least the next 30 years.5:38You want me to buy 30 years' worth of tampons?5:41Well, 30, 35.5:42When did your mother go into menopause?5:44Okay.5:45Do you guys mind if I start?5:46Um, Penny...5:48Yeah?5:49That's where I sit.5:50Oh.5:51Sit next to me.5:55No, I sit there.5:58What's the difference?6:00What's the difference?6:01Here we go.6:02In the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm,6:06and yet not so close as to cause perspiration.6:08In the summer, it's directly in the path of a cross breeze created by opening windows there and there.6:12It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation,6:17nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion.6:19I could go on to...6:20I think I've made my point.6:25Do you want me to move?6:27Well...6:28Just sit somewhere else.6:31Fine.6:50Sheldon, sit!6:54Ah.6:55In 1935, Erwin Schrodinger,6:57in an attempt to explain the Copenhagen interpretation6:59of quantum physics, he proposed an experiment where a cat7:02is placed in a box with a sealed vial of poison7:05that will break open at a random time.7:07Now, since no one knows when or if the poison has been released,7:11until the box is opened,7:13the cat can be thought of as both alive and dead.7:20I'm sorry, I don't get the point.7:25Well of course you don get it I haven made it yet You have to be psychic to get it and there no such thing as psychic Sheldon what the point Just like Schrodinger cat your potential relationship with Leonard right now can be thought of as both good and bad7:40It is only by opening the box that you'll find out which it is.7:44Okay, so you're saying I should go out with Leonard?7:48No, no, no, no, no, no.7:51Let me start again.7:52In 1935...7:54Oh, Schrodinger.7:54Go out tonight7:59I have to go out tonight8:06What the hell is that?8:10I don't know, but if cats could sing, they'd hate it too.8:20You wanna proud be my ninth owl8:24Oh, well, take my pet pet.8:25Hey, guys.8:27Hi.8:28Where are you going?8:28What?8:29We just had to mail some letters and throw away some chicken.8:35You'll never guess what just happened8:55I give up8:56I don't guess8:57As a scientist I reach conclusions8:59Based on observation and experimentation9:01Although as I'm saying this9:03It occurs to me9:03You may have been employing a rhetorical device9:05surrendering my response moot.9:08What was that?9:09Believe it or not, personal growth.9:12What happened?9:13All right, remember when I auditioned9:14for that workshop production of Rent,9:15but I didn't get it and I couldn't figure out why?9:17I have a conclusion based on an observation.9:19No, you don't.9:20No, he doesn't.9:22Well, the girl they picked to play Mimi,9:24she dropped out and they asked me to replace her.9:26Oh, congratulations.9:27What a lucky break.9:28It's not a big deal, just a one-night showcase,9:30but they invite a lot of casting people and agents,9:32so you never know.9:33I think I know.9:34No, you don't.9:35He doesn't.9:37It's this Friday at 8.9:38Do you guys want to come?9:39No.9:42Because, uh, Friday,9:45we are attending a symposium on molecular positronium.9:48I think that's a week from Tuesday at 6.9:50No, it's this Friday at 8.9:53Oh, too bad.9:55Well, I gotta get to rehearsal.9:56See you guys.9:57See ya.9:58Let's go.10:00out tonight.10:03Excuse me.10:05Do you know anything about this stuff?10:06I know everything about this stuff.10:09Okay. I have my own wholesale10:11flower business, and I want to hook up my10:13computer in the front entrance with the one in my10:14refrigerated warehouse. Here, buy this one.10:17Look, it's the one we're getting. See? Happy guy.10:18No, no, no, no. She doesn't want that. She needs a point-to-point10:21peer network with a range10:23extender. Thank you.10:25Which hard drive do I want?10:27Firewire or USB?10:29It depends on what bus you have available.10:35I drive a Chevy Cavalier.10:39Oh, dear Lord.10:40Sheldon, we have to go.10:41Not now. Penny, this poor man needs me.10:43You hold on. I'll be right with you.10:46What computer do you have?10:47And please don't say a white one.10:52Okay, we don't have that in stock.10:56But I can special order it for you.10:59Him.11:01Excuse me, sir.11:02You don't work here.11:04Yes, well, apparently neither does anyone else.11:08Sheldon, we have to go.11:09Why?11:10Well, for one thing, we're late for Leonard's birthday party,11:12and for another, I told him to call security.11:16Good luck.11:19By the way, a six-year-old could hack your computer system.11:22Keep walking.11:23One, two, three, four is not a secure password.11:26Uh-oh.11:28What?11:29I was going to get my mail.11:31Okay.11:34Are you hoping to get it telepathically?11:38I think you mean telekinetically.11:41And no.11:43I just wasn't sure of the proper protocol11:45now that you and Leonard are no longer having coitus.11:47Oh, God, can we please just say no longer seeing each other?11:51Well, we could if it were true.11:53But as you live in the same building,11:54you see each other all the time.11:56A variable which has changed is the coitus.11:59Okay, here's the protocol.12:02You and I are still friends, and you stopped saying coitus.12:06Good. I'm glad we're still friends.12:09Really?12:09Oh, yes. It was a lot of work to accommodate you in my life.12:13I'd hate for that effort to have been in vain.12:16Right.12:18Just to be clear, do I have to stop saying coitus with everyone or just you?12:23Everyone.12:25Do you go on many dates Oh yeah I wouldn say many A few What Your characterization of approximately 171 different men is a few12:40Where did you get 171 men?12:45Simple extrapolation.12:46In the three years that I've known you, you were single for two.12:49During that time, I saw 17 different suitors.12:52if we work backwards, correcting for observation bias12:56and postulate an initial dating age of 15.12:58Whoa, wait, wait, wait.12:59I did not start dating at 15.13:02I'm sorry, 16?13:06My mistake.13:07Now, assuming the left side of a bell curve13:09peeking around the present,13:11that would bring the total up to 193 men.13:15Plus or minus eight men.13:19Remarkable.13:20Did you have sexual intercourse with all of these men?13:22No.13:23Although that number would be fairly easy to calculate,13:26based on the number of awkward encounters I've had13:29with strange men leaving her apartment in the morning,13:31plus the number of times she's returned home13:34wearing the same clothes she wore the night before.13:36Okay, Sheldon, I think you've made your point.13:37So we multiply 193 minus 21 men before the loss of virginity.13:43So 172 times 0.18 gives us 30.96 sexual partners.13:51Let's round that up to 31.13:52Okay, Sheldon, you are so wrong.13:56That is not even close to the real number of me to drink over here.13:59We're home.14:03It's 10 o'clock. Where have you been?14:05We stayed for the California Adventure Water Show.14:08It was pure Disney magic.14:11I was gonna see that with him.14:13How was I supposed to know that?14:14It's all right. I'll see it again with you.14:16And I have food here. You said you were gonna call.14:19I know, I know.14:20I can still eat.14:21No, you already threw up once.14:22Go put on your PJs and brush your teeth.14:27Okay, but just don't fight.14:28We're not fighting.14:29Just go.14:33Aren't you gonna thank Penny for taking you to Disneyland?14:36Thank you, Penny.14:39Consider this unlikely but very plausible scenario.14:42A young woman alone in the big city.14:46Her ridiculous dream of becoming an actress lies shattered about her.14:49Hey, wait a minute.14:51Hang on, let's see where he's going.14:53Then it hits her.14:55How is she going to survive But she has no prospects no marketable skills And then one day she meets a group of geniuses and their friend Howard15:08Hey, hang on. Let's see where he's going.15:12She befriends them and then lies in wait until they reveal a marketable idea,15:18which she steals and sells to the highest bidder.15:21That is ridiculous.15:22Oh, is it?15:23Let's see you come up with an explanation15:25as to why this woman hangs out with us all the time.15:31Okay, you know what?15:32I've already mooched dinner off you guys.15:34I don't need to listen to this.15:35What's going on?15:36Oh, nothing's going on. Excuse me.15:38Are you just getting home?15:39Yeah.15:40That's a good sign, right?15:43Oh, yeah.15:44I'm so proud of you.15:47You sold yourself out like a common streetwalker.15:50No, I didn't do it for the money.15:54She stiffed you?15:56I believe that's what your roommate did to her.16:00What?16:01Again, read the book we gave you.16:04Where's your heart rate monitor?16:05I don't have one.16:06What about your pedometer?16:07Don't have one.16:08Do you have telematics in your shoes connected to an iPod?16:10Uh, no.16:11What do you do?16:12You just go out there and gamble about like a bunny?16:16No, I just run till I'm hungry,16:17and then I stop for a bear claw.16:20Why are you doing that?16:25It's good to stretch your muscles before you run.16:28All right.16:28All right, let's start with a toe touch.16:37Okay, you do it.16:40I am doing it.16:43Oh, wow. Good job.16:45Okay, um, can you do this?16:47we'll never know okay let's just uh warm up on the run okay okay let's go yeah i've been16:55reading up on biomechanics i think you'll be surprised at my oh my god are you okay17:04i think so let me help you up thank you17:07oh sheldon if it makes you feel any better thursday is no longer cruciferous vegetable night17:17Hey, you don't need Leonard and his app.17:19You can make one with me.17:21With you?17:23Seriously I have a great idea for one Was it better than your idea to move to Los Angeles and become a famous actress Okay look when you see someone wearing shoes you like you just snap a picture of them17:36and the app goes on the internet17:37to find out where you can buy them.17:40That's your app idea.17:41You don't like it?17:42I didn't say that, but no, I don't.17:50Okay, these are Uggs.17:53These are Crocs.17:55These are knockoff Manolo Blahniks.17:57Bored.17:58Well, look, you said it yourself.18:01We have to create a database before you can write an alga thingy.18:04Algorithm.18:05You see, Penny, Alan Turing defines an algorithm.18:08Bored.18:09Okay, these are Steve Madden's.18:12These are Nine West.18:14These are Target.18:15Oh, but don't they look like Chanel?18:17These are Michael Kors.18:20Nobody knows.18:21These are Roxy.18:23These are such shells.18:30And hold three, two, one.18:36Very good.18:38Now let's try warrior two.18:41And hold.18:47I've read that there are great yogis who have such mastery over their bodies.18:51they can draw water in through their genitals.19:03Oh, well, I don't think we're going to get to do that today.19:07Too bad.19:09Seems like a good way to drink a milkshake19:11without getting brain freeze.19:16Oh, hey.19:17Now we go to reverse warrior.19:21How did she get you to do yoga?19:27Well, to be honest, I thought she said Yoda.19:32If you die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone,19:35what would you most regret not having told someone?19:39So it would be today?19:41Huh.19:42Well, I suppose there's something satisfying about dying on my birthday.19:48Today's your birthday?19:50Yes.19:51Well, that's always been a secret. Not even Amy knows.19:55Well, I don't enjoy presents. And the20:00The thought of people jumping out and yelling surprise20:03fills me with more dread than the words20:05George Lucas director's cut.20:09So why'd you finally tell me?20:12The point of the experiment20:13is to be completely honest with each other.20:17Thank you for sharing it with me.20:19I won't tell anyone.20:24Thank you for walking me home.20:27Just wanna make sure you get there safe.20:30Well, this is me.20:35It's been a very interesting evening.20:37It really has.20:42Surprise!20:47And after I let you be Gary!20:50Penny! Penny! Penny!20:55What's the matter?20:57Um, well, I was worried that you might be missing Leonard.21:03And that might be causing you to have bad dreams.21:07Like the kinds you'd get if you watched Clash of the Titans right before you went to bed.21:12Sweetie, did you have a bad dream?21:16To be honest, I did.21:18Back to the Future 2 was in the Back to the Future 3 case.21:23Leonard did it.21:25Good night.21:25You wouldn't know when it went.21:27Perhaps I should sleep here21:30So you don't miss Leonard as much21:32Because you're being kind of a baby about it21:35You know what, that would make me feel better, thank you21:44You're welcome21:44Good night21:50I don't think there's anything in this jewelry store21:55that Amy would appreciate more than the humidifier21:58we were just looking at at Sears.22:01Oh, my God.22:02Now I know what I sound like to you22:04when I say stupid stuff.22:09Oh, a pocket watch.22:11Okay, I don't think Amy wants a pocket watch.22:13No, but maybe she wants a man with a pocket watch.22:17Still saying stupid stuff.22:21Ooh, she like bracelets?22:22Well she very fond of her silver one that says allergic to penicillin Maybe they have a dressier version of that Well how are we doing this afternoon Are we looking for anything special Perhaps a ring for the lady22:36Trust me, we are not a couple.22:38Excuse me.22:39I don't see why you get to snort derisively22:41and point that out.22:43You'd be lucky to land a fellow like me.22:46Fine, go ahead.22:47Trust me, we are not a couple.22:50Oh, me.22:50The penny, a moment.22:52We just had Thai food.22:55In that culture, the last morsel is called the Grang Jai piece,22:59and it is reserved for the most important and valued member of the group.23:09Thank you all for this high honor.23:14I've seen pictures of your mother. Keep eating.23:22Oh, hey, Sheldon.23:26Hello.23:34You okay?23:35I'm on vacation. What do you think?23:40Why are you sitting in the stairwell?23:42Leonard told me to stay.23:46Oh. Well, good boy.23:50Where are you going?23:51Ugh, a ton of errands to run.23:53I need to make copies of my headshot,23:54send them off to agents, and, uh, sign up for a new acting class, and...23:57Mm. Have fun.23:58Okay.24:06You wanna come with me?24:08Really?24:10Come on, boy. Come on. Let's go. Let's go.24:12Get in the way. Come on.24:14I've never played Dungeons & Dragons with girls before.24:17Oh, don't worry, sweetie. No one has.24:21So, what do you think?24:26I'll leave it up to the dungeon master.24:30A satanic fungus that looks suspiciously like Al Pacino24:35rises from the forest floor and says,24:40You're playing D&D.24:42You're playing D&D.24:44This whole apartment24:46is playing D&D.24:51What are you doing in our dungeon You shall die Okay literal goosebumps look25:07What do you do?25:08I draw my broadsword.25:10I ready my quarterstaff.25:11I drink my potion.25:15I see we attacked the big one.25:17You know what, give me the dice. I want to roll.25:19The dungeon master is supposed to roll.25:21Yeah, well, I'm supposed to be in Vegas throwing up on a shrimp buffet.25:24Now give it.25:25All right, what do I need?25:28Uh, 15 or higher.25:3115's the point. The point is 15.25:32Give the little lady some room. Here it is, coming out.25:37Ah!25:40Oh, please tell me we're playing for money.25:42Oh, even better than money.25:44You gained experience points.25:48More potion, please.25:49Yeah.25:50Amy, I'd like to apologize.25:52Your accomplishment was impressive, and I'm proud of you.26:00We both know that's your koala face.26:02I told you.26:04Okay, look, he bought you this.26:07Jewelry? Seriously?26:11Sheldon, you are the most shallow, self-centered person I have ever met.26:14Do you really think that another transparently manip...26:17Oh, it's a tiara!26:19A tiara! I have a tiara!26:21Put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me.26:29You look beautiful.26:31Of course I do. I'm a princess and this is my tiara.26:44You're right. Tiara was too much.26:46Hey, what's with all the yelling?26:49Leonard disproved my element.26:50Now all the attention is going to go away.26:52Oh, that's great. You must be thrilled.26:54Oh, that's it. I'm down to seven friends.26:59I was counting hobbits and superheroes, right?27:02When I thought the element was real, I didn't want it.27:04But now that Leonard made it not exist,27:06I want it more than anything in the world.27:09The element never existed.27:10I didn't take it away. Science took it away.27:12Be mad at science.27:13Don't you dare use science against me.27:17Science is my best friend.27:19Oh, good. I'm back up to eight.27:20Will you tell him he's out of his mind?27:24Actually I get what he saying Yes Nine Welcome back buddy It like if you dating someone you not that into and then they break up with you and then you want them more than ever I have no idea27:35what she's talking about.27:36But we're ganging up on you,27:38so I agree.27:40Okay, Sheldon,27:41what do you want me to do?27:43Hide the information?27:44If I don't publish it,27:45it's just a matter of time27:46before someone else does.27:47But no, no, of course27:48you have to publish.27:49That's your responsibility27:50as a scientist.27:51Doing otherwise would be unethical.27:52You have no choice.27:55Fine, I'll publish.27:55Can you believe this guy?27:57Here are some topics that interest me.27:59Quantum mechanics, trains, flags.28:01No, no, it's about my acting career.28:03Oh, I'm sorry, that's not on the list.28:05Well...28:06Oh, wait, no.28:07How about we split the difference28:09and discuss why Austria was an arch-duchy28:13and not just a regular duchy?28:16Okay, look, here's the thing.28:17I like pharmaceutical sales.28:18It's going great, but I have an audition for a movie,28:21and if I get it, it could screw everything up.28:23Hmm.28:23I know exactly what you should do.28:26Unfortunately, I cannot tell you.28:30Well, why?28:31I'm attempting to turn over a new leaf.28:34Earlier today, it was pointed out to me28:36that I tend to force my ideas on people.28:39You're really not going to tell me?28:41Nope, that train has left the station.28:45Now, we can play this one in two ways.28:47You can say, trains, tell me more.28:50Or you can just look at me like that,28:53and I'll start.28:54Who do we love?28:55Penny.28:56Who do we love?28:57Penny.29:01Hello, Sheldon.29:02Come on in.29:04What's up?29:05I came to ask29:07if you would like29:08to go on a date with me.29:12Sorry, what?29:14A date.29:15You and me.29:16Dining, dancing.29:18Perhaps you'd like29:19to take in a prize fight?29:22God, are you trying29:23to make Amy jealous?29:25No.29:26Why is everyone so obsessed with Amy and Stuart?29:29And whether or not they may be having more pumpkin lattes29:31or intercourse tonight.29:35Okay, listen to me.29:36Playing games is not gonna help get Amy back.29:39I am not trying to get her back.29:41But out of curiosity, what is a way?29:45All right, honey, let me tell you a story.29:47There was a guy I liked, and I never told him how I felt.29:50Eventually, he started going out with someone else,29:52and I always regretted it.29:54Do you see where I'm going with this?29:56I believe I do.29:57I'm the guy.30:00You're not the guy.30:06Are you sure?30:08I would explain so much.30:09Your constant presence in my apartment,30:12baffling dalliance with Leonard just to be near me,30:15the way you call me sweetie all the time.30:18I call everyone sweetie.30:19You tramp.30:20Oh.30:24Look, Sheldon, all I'm saying is strap on a pair and go talk to Amy.30:28Strap on a pair?30:29Wait, what? Skates?30:34Oh, sweetie, you are so not the guy.30:36It seems only logical that to restore balance to the relationship,30:40you should find another man and dally with him.30:43And by dally, I mean some hardcore mouth-on-mouth action.30:47That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.30:50I actually think he's onto something.30:52Well, you can't be serious.30:54Because I messed up and made out with a girl,30:57you're gonna do the same with a random guy?31:00I'm currently single.31:04That's true, you are.31:07What is happening?31:11I will tell you what is happening.31:13I am saving my best friend's marriage.31:24Since Amy and I have been living together,31:26We've been bickering like my parents used to.31:29And you're afraid you're gonna do something like your dad did?31:32Yes. I need to prepare her now to save her from pain down the road.31:37Down the road? Sheldon, she wanted to share a toothbrush holder with you,31:41and now you're at an ice cream parlor trying to pick up women.31:46Well, anything can sound silly when you put it in that tone.31:49Honey, instead of worrying about pain you may cause in the future,31:52how about trying to fix the pain you're causing her right now?31:56I'm sure you're right.32:00And I suppose I should apologize to you as well.32:03Okay.32:04That must have hurt,32:06watching me look for other women32:07without ever even considering you.32:14Please understand that I think of you32:17as more of a nanny.32:22Just finish your ice cream32:23so I can get you home to bed.32:26Helium Yes Taylor Swift Yes Pie Yes32:42Kardashian.32:43More specific?32:47Chloe.32:48Yes!32:49See, I remember because if it looks like Kim, it's Kim.32:52If it looks kind of like Kim, it's Kourtney.32:54If it looks nothing like him, it's Chloe.32:57Oh, that's a Venn diagram.32:59And I remember because I thought to myself,33:01Venn, is he going to stop talking about this diagram?33:05What are you guys doing?33:06Oh, well, we decided to use our breakfast time33:09to expand our respective knowledge bases.33:11Let me try.33:15Adam of hydrogen, Adam of Maroon 5, mic drop.33:21I'm sorry, who is mic drop?33:24Ever since Amy started working with Howard, she hasn't been home.33:27Didn't that just start this morning?33:30And has she been home?33:33You know, that would frustrate me.33:36Does it frustrate you?33:38It does.33:39I get that.33:40You know, it's okay to feel frustrated when things aren't going your way.33:45I suppose.33:46Oh, maybe it's not that big a deal.33:48No, no, no.33:48Your feelings are valid.33:50Now, why don't you go wash up, and we'll call you when dinner's ready.33:54Okay.34:03What did you do? Are you a witch?34:06Well, I've been reading Bernadette's parenting book.34:08It's like the answer key to the Sheldon test.34:12That's amazing.34:13I know, but, you know, it's only birth to five.34:16What do we do when he turns six?34:19Take him to the zoo and leave him there.34:21The fundamental problem with elementary quantum mechanical formalism34:24is that the Fourier transform extends to minus infinity in time.34:28Hey, don't dumb this down for me.34:33Penny, I'm late for that thing. See ya.34:35Leonard!34:38Oh, Sheldon. Didn't see you there. What's up?34:40Well, he was excited to talk science with Amy,34:43but she was working late, so he decided to come over and share it with me.34:46With me, Leonard.34:50With me.34:51Sheldon, we've talked about this.34:54You can go around boring other people wives Yeah I already got a man for that Yeah you do Yeah It just I been enjoying my collaboration with Amy35:06but ever since we got back from our honeymoon,35:08she has so little time.35:09She does have her own job.35:11Yeah, but it's so dull.35:13Trying to understand how the brain35:15translates the five senses into biochemical information.35:18I'd rather wait in line without my phone.35:22Okay, well, Leonard's here now.35:24You can talk science with him.35:26Where are you going?35:26That thing you were late for.35:27One of us should really be there.35:30What a beautiful forest.35:35Hello, little butterfly.35:39What's your name?35:40Oh!35:42What you doing?35:43I was enjoying some virtual reality.35:46You ruined it with your actual face.35:49What am I smelling?35:51Oh, it's car air freshener.35:52I was simulating the smell of the forest.35:55It's not what the forest smells like.35:57Well, how would I know?36:00Amy is the one constant I can count on,36:02and now she's changing.36:03It's just a haircut and some clothes.36:06No, it's the last straw.36:07I can't take any more.36:17Can you believe it?36:18They finally fixed the elevator.36:22This is a nightmare.36:25What's with him?36:26He won a Nobel Prize and his wife looks amazing.36:28Oh, yeah, got it.36:46Ah! Ah!36:47Ah!36:49How did you get down here?36:52The elevator? It's really fast.36:55I need to be alone right now.36:57Don't try to follow me.36:58All right. You need a ride?36:59That'd be great. Thank you.37:00The entire point of emulating Spock37:02was to rise above human emotion,37:04which I've spent a lifetime mastering.37:07Oh.37:10Excuse me?37:11I'm sorry. I'm not here.37:13No, you went...37:14What does... mean?37:16Um...37:17You did go...37:18Okay, fine.37:20Well, Sheldon, I'm no expert,37:22aren't you completely missing the point of Spock?37:24He liked to act like he had no emotions but he was still half human Just like you I just saying you pretend you don but you have feelings just like everybody else Not true37:35No, look at me.37:36I had an engagement ring to give a girl, and instead she rejected me.37:40And am I emotional about that?37:41No.37:42No, I am sitting here on a couch, talking about my favorite TV character like nothing happened.37:46Because I am just like him.37:48All logical.37:48All the time.37:49Sweetie, you're yelling.37:50Because when I speak at a regular volume, no one seems to believe me that I put this37:53Amy nonsense behind me.38:01This documentary is going to be awesome.38:08That's the fourth time she's been to the bathroom in the last two hours.38:13So?38:14Her breakfast was binding.38:16I made sure of that.38:18So?38:19So she clearly has some sort of stomach distress.38:22If it's viral, we're all susceptible.38:24She's probably just airsick.38:26What if she's not?38:28What if we get what she has?38:29What if we infect the king of Sweden?38:31That's how wars start.38:38All right, that's it.38:39This is Outbreak and she's the monkey.38:43Wait, stop.38:44Be reasonable.38:47Leonard, we need to do something about your wife.38:51What's the matter?38:51She is clearly sick, and she's going to take us all down with her.38:54She's not sick, Sheldon.38:55She is, and I'm going to catch it, and it's going to ruin the greatest day of my life.38:59I promise you're not going to get what she has.39:02What's going on?39:03Unclean! Unclean!39:05What?39:06He thinks you're sick.39:10Should we tell him?39:11If we don't, he might try and jump out of the plane.39:13Eh, doesn't answer my question.39:16Tell me what?39:19I'm pregnant, Sheldon.39:21You're right, I can't catch that.39:28Good news, Amy.39:29She's just pregnant.39:31I think we'd make amazing parents.39:34Will you guys keep it down?39:41On the other hand, we might lack a certain maturity.39:45You actually think it's 2003?39:47No, just because I'm living my life like it was 12 years ago39:5012 years ago doesn't mean I'm delusional.39:52And since it is 2003, I don't know who you are.39:56So please exit the premises before I call the police on my stylish new flip phone.40:00Hello, 2003.40:08Hey, we brought you time.40:12Where is everything?40:13In my present, it's in the future.40:15In your present, it's been crammed in the bedroom40:18by an enterprising young man I met in the Home Depot parking lot.40:23I know what you're doing.40:25You're trying to get attention so we'll feel bad for you,40:27but it's not happening.40:28No, what I'm doing is trying to figure out how to live my life40:31now that everyone is leaving me.40:33Knock it off. We're across the hall.40:35As the kids are saying today, talk to the hand.40:39They're not saying that.40:42They are in 2003.40:45No, no, they're really not.40:47I'm trying to take an interest in other people.40:50How was your girls' night?40:52It was fine.40:54Did you have anything to eat?40:55Uh, chips.40:56Anything to drink?40:59Some wine.41:01Well, I'm just playing tennis against the drapes here.41:06It's for the Nobel laureates.41:08We need them on our side, but unfortunately, Sheldon...41:11No, unfortunately, Sheldon, that's all you gotta say.41:15So you need these people's support,41:17and you're sending them baked goods?41:19Yeah, they're pretty smart.41:20Don't you think they're gonna realize it's just a bribe?41:21No, I could think, but sometimes brilliant people41:24can be painfully oblivious to social cues.41:26Thank you for pointing that out Sheldon Anytime And my two dearest friends in the world Penny Hofstadter and Dr Leonard Hofstadter41:55I was there the moment Leonard and Penny met.41:58He said to me that their babies would be smart and beautiful.42:04And now that they're expecting, I have no doubt that that will be the case.42:08Thanks, Sheldon.42:09I haven't told my parents yet, but thanks.42:12Oh, I'm sorry.42:17Don't tell anyone that last thing.42:18That's a secret.42:21What you need is to spend your birthday in a bathroom.42:25I'm happy to do it with you.42:28Everyone will think I'm weird.42:39Sweetie, you are weird.42:42Everyone knows you're weird,42:44but they're all still here42:45because they care about you so much.42:49Hello. Some of us need to check our hair42:51because we might have a shot with Winner's mother.